Pairings: John Sheppard/Evan Lorne
Summary: John isn't happy when Evan comes back. He wants to know why Evan left three years ago.
Disclaimer: All the recognisable characters belongs to Stargate-verse and it's creators
Author’s Notes: This is an AU where Evan went on the Atlantis expedition and John didn't. I hope that I got what you wanted from your prompt for Evan/John. I was planning on a wallpaper and a drabble but when I went to write a drabble, it turned into this massive fic. Hope you enjoy it.
All the mistakes etc are my own! I welcome any feedback (as long as it's positive!)
Formerly Major John Sheppard gawked at the stargate as it activated and jumped when a koosh of 'water' came out of it.
John turned to Colonel Evan Lorne who was standing besides him and asked if he was actually going to go through that.
Evan grinned and gave a quiet chuckle.
A couple of weeks earlier
John was out on the patio when a dark black car came up the driveway, and then it stopped. A door opened and a man in uniform came out, someone that John never thought he would see again.
He badly wanted to turn around and go into the house but it was too late. The man was coming up to the steps and looked up at him.
"What are you doing here?" John said angrily.
The man winced. "I wanted to see you."
"What? After 3 years you decided to come and see me?" John snorted. "See if I managed to get out of this?" He pointed to the wheelchair he was in.
"Evan, you left without a look back," John yelled as he wheeled around and went into the house, leaving the door wide open.
Evan took a deep sigh and walked up to the door. "Can I come in?"
"Do I even have a choice?" John shrugged as he went down a small ramp into the lounge.
"You have a choice," Evan said as he closed the door behind him and stood at the top of the steps to the lounge.
"Did I have a choice when you left? Did we talk about it? No, you just decided to leave without even a note or saying anything," John stared at Evan coldly. "No, I didn't have a choice then, why should I have one now?"
"John, I didn't have a choice either! If I stayed, I would come to resent you knowing what I turned down," Evan walked down the couple of the steps.
"Resent me? What are you talking about?" John started to yell. "You never talked to me about it! I don't know what you would've turned down. How the hell would I know? You never sat down with me and talked to me, Evan!"
Evan gave a deep sigh, knowing that John was right. That John had the right to be angry with him for leaving the way he did. He regretted it ever since.
"Why did it take you THREE years to come here?"
"I couldn't come before," Evan answered. "I was out of the country."
"Out of the country?" John was puzzled. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Evan sighed and gestured to the couch asking if he could sit down. John nodded and wheeled himself over to the couch where Evan sat down.
"I got an assignment, John," Evan tried to explain what happened three years ago, without revealing too much about the assignment.
Although John used to be in the Air Force, since the accident, which put him in the wheelchair, John was honourably discharged from the Air Force with a Medal of Valor, he didn’t have the clearance to know about the classified parts of the assignment.
When he got the assignment, General O’Neill told Evan why John has got the medal and he was proud of John, even though he wished that John knew the real reason behind the medal.
"It was out of the world, John," Evan said. "If you knew what it was for, you will understand why I left. I needed to go to protect the Earth. I couldn't stay, knowing what I knew."
"Earth? That is a bit too much?” John raised an eyebrow and Evan groaned, not realizing that he has slipped. He was about to try to cover it up when John continued, "I understand the duty to America and fighting for the country but what I don't get is that you could've said all that to me, and then perhaps I would've understood."
Evan gave a sigh of relief but at the same time he was wishing that he managed to get clearance for John to know about what he has been doing for the last three years but it just wasn't possible. He felt a pang of anger towards the IOA and General O'Neill but it passed, knowing that O'Neill couldn’t persuade the IOA and the higher powers to give him the clearance to tell John, even if he wanted to.
"I regret how I left," Evan rubbed his chin tiredly. "I blamed myself for what happened to you. I didn't want to see the anger in your eyes, you blaming me too. I didn't want you to resent me too."
John let out a gasp. "What? It wasn't your fault!"
"Yes, you flew over me to save me, damn-it. It should've been me!" Evan shook his head furiously.
"What the hell? If you went under whatever that thing was, you would've been killed, with the low fuel you had left. It made sense for me to go over Antarctica and protected the strange plane from the enemy. I had plenty of fuel left," John told Evan shell-shocked to know that he has been blaming himself for the last three years. Suddenly it was all clear. Why Evan left, why he thought that he would resent Evan. He couldn't believe that Evan thought he blamed him for the accident.
"Evan, look, it isn't your fault!" John took Evan's hand and stared right into Evan's eyes. "It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. You hear me?"
"But..." Evan began to protest but John put a hand up. "I blamed myself for not getting out sooner. I hated myself for putting me in this stupid chair. The good thing came out of that accident was you being alive. Then you suddenly disappeared without a word and I just went into a deep slumber of depression. I eventually, with counselling, came to realize that it was nobody's fault how I got to this. It is not my fault and it is not your fault, either."
Evan swallowed hard. "I shouldn't have left the way I did. I just didn't want to see the disappointment and the anger in your eyes if I came to see you. I knew that if I saw you, and you asked me to stay, I would've stayed."
John blinked several times. "Really? You would've stayed if I asked?"
Evan slowly nodded. "Yeah, I would've but if I stayed, I knew that I would end up wondering about the assignment and would come to resent you for asking me to stay, even though you might not have meant it. I couldn't stay. I wanted to leave you with good memories. I loved you so much that it hurt to leave you behind."
John was full of emotions, anger leaving him. "I didn't know. I thought you left because you couldn't cope with me being in a wheelchair. I thought that you blamed me for my actions. I-I..." Evan let out a gasp of shock. Without thinking, he leaned over to John and hugged him tightly. "I never blamed you, John. I would've stayed if I weren’t asked to come on the expedition. It was too big to turn down. Believe me when I say that if it wasn't important to America, to you and the rest of the world, I would've stayed."
"I know now," John smiled as he gently pulled Evan away and looked at him. "But I didn't then."
"I'm sorry," Evan rested his forehead against John's.
"I'm sorry too," John replied.
A few days later
Evan was surprised when John invited him to stay with him for a few days. At first, he wasn't sure, but in the end; he was glad that he stayed.
They slowly got to know each other all over again. Evan learned that John taught mathematics at the local school. Although he couldn't tell John much about his assignment (John understood) what he could tell, John was fascinated.
One of these days, everything went boom. Evan didn't realize that he had a life detector in his duffel bag.
When John brought it into the kitchen, Evan's eyes went wide as he went to grab it but stopped when he saw it glowing in John's hands.
"What is this?" John asked.
"It's glowing!" Evan exclaimed. John looked down and then up again.
"Was it supposed to be glowing?"
"No..." Evan said, stunned. "I mean, yes it is supposed to be glowing but only with certain people."
“What do you mean? With certain people?" John was confused.
"I must..." Evan spluttered as he looked at the glowing life detector. "...call the SGC."
Even more days later
As it turned out, John had the strongest Ancient gene, even more than Evan’s or even General O’Neill’s. He was overwhelmed when he found out what the SGC was, and where Evan has gone. That the SGC teams went through stargates to travel to different planets. That there were alien allies on some of the SGC teams.
So Evan was serious when he said that it was important to protect the rest of the world. John learned about the SG-1 and the real reason behind the medal he got. He got it because without his protection, the SG-1 would've not got into the Ancient outpost and found Atlantis.
Atlantis, the lost city!
John couldn't believe that he was going to the city where Evan had the military command for Atlantis and he was about to go through the gate to see the city.
He couldn't wait.
"You ready?" Evan asked.
John nodded and Evan pushed the wheelchair through the gate.
When John got to the other end, he gasped at the beauty of Atlantis. He looked in all directions, feeling something within the city waking up to his presence.
Around him, there were gasps of surprise and shock as the lights suddenly glowed brightly, and bleeps of noises were going on.
"Who did that?" a lady with a red shirt came down the stairs.
Evan gasped as he looked down at John, who was clueless.
"I...I think John did it, Dr Weir," Evan turned to the lady.
"John? You mean the one with the strong gene?" Weir looked at the man in the chair.
"Yes, ma'am," Evan replied.
"Ally says thank you," John suddenly said, causing Evan and Weir to turn around and stare at him.
"Sorry, Ally?" Weir asked. "We don't have anyone by that name here."
John frowned as he listened to the voice and then it dawned on him that it was inside his head.
"Oh," John muttered under his breath. He cleared his throat and started to explain with a couple of guys came down the stairs, with a gorgeous lady and a huge man following from behind.
"What's the hell going on?" the guy with the Canadian patch said. "The lights everywhere are brighter and the ZPMs are suddenly full. Every lab with machines and gadgets are all on, without any problem."
Evan and Weir gasped as they looked at the guy with wide mouths.
"Rodney, are you sure?" Weir eventually asked.
"Yes! Teyla and Ronon were with me in the mess when it happened! Then Radek came in shouting out all of sorts about the labs!" Rodney yelled. Weir turned to Evan, wordlessly.
Evan shrugged and pointed to John.
"I think I should explain," John said.
"Who are you?" Rodney suddenly turned to him.
John just simply raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "I'm the one with the strong gene, and I think I turned the city on."
Rodney stared at John with an open mouth. "Wh...what?"
Evan tried to hold laughter back, because the look on Rodney was priceless but at the same time he was curious to what John meant.
Before John could explain, Weir interrupted. "Perhaps it would be better if we took this to the briefing room?"
Once everyone was introduced to each other, Weir turned to John and asked him if he could explain what were happening here.
John fidgeted in his chair as all attention was on him. "I don't know much, but it seems that the city needed a strong gene like mine to turn it competely on," John made a small shrug.
"But what is it so special about your gene that the others couldn't, to turn the city on?" Teyla gently asked.
"Honestly, I don't know. I just repeated what Ally said."
"Yes you said the name earlier. Who is this person?" Weir was confounded.
"Oh I didn't say?" John smirked and Evan shook his head, laughing inside. He was glad that John was here with him now. Perhaps after this, he could take John up in the puddle jumper. He wanted to give the sky back to him.
Rodney snorted as Weir shook her head.
"Ally is the city's sentinel being," John made the announcement as if it was nothing exciting. Inside although, he was excited about it. He watched all several of reactions on each of the guys around the room and enjoyed it thoroughly. He stopped at Evan and winked at him.
Then John turned to Rodney and asked him if he could make some sort of a hologram program for Ally so that she could appear and talk to everyone about Atlantis and it’s accurate history.
When Rodney simply nodded, unable to say anything for that he was in deep shock, Weir told everyone to come back for a briefing later when Rodney was ready.
Evan took John to his quarters first and told him that it was where he was staying.
John was surprised and asked if it would look suspicious but Evan shook his head.
“The DADT doesn’t apply here,” Evan explained. “Same with the SGC. The President recognized that it was almost impossible to have relationships outside of the SGC and here due to the secrecy and the close relationships we have, so he agreed to remove the DADT from the SGC and here, even though it still applied to other military forces.”
John nodded and was pleased that he didn’t have to hide the relationship between him and Evan. He smiled at Evan.
“Now I understand.”
Evan was puzzled. “You understand what?”
“Why you couldn’t turn the assignment down when you first got it. I mean, if it was me, I wouldn’t have turned it down either.”
Evan remembered the conversation they had when he first came to John’s house and smiled.
“Let’s go. I have a surprise for you,” Evan grinned as he wheeled John out of the quarters, laughing when John tried to question him about where they were going.
Evan couldn’t wait to see the look on John’s face when he realized that he could fly again.
"This is amazing," John was in awe as he sat in the pilot’s seat in the jumper as he looked out the window to the sky. He was actually flying. With his mind!
Evan was overjoyed at the look on John's face. He looked like he belonged up in the sky, which is where he should be.
"You got it back," Evan whispered quietly.
"What?" John turned to him.
"I wanted to give the sky back to you."
John gave a huge smile. "Thank you."
He leaned over and kissed Evan with passion.